On the scale of life situations that cause the greatest stress, the divorce is in second place, immediately after the death of the closest people. The impact of divorce on children is also something we must not neglect and deny. The couples counselling centers St. Catharines will tell you how to deal with these situations.
Moreover, vigorous divorce can affect children seriously and permanently. Therefore, on the assumption that divorce is inevitable, we must ask ourselves what we can do to make it easier for children to overcome and accept the new situation.
Let the child be sad and understand that it is difficult for him/ her
Often adults attributed to children’s attention the quest for attention, or feel they are not even aware of what is happening. Mistake! Child feelings are very strong, but they show them in a different way than adults – through behavior and physical symptoms. Do not underestimate them and minimize the situation thinking that it will make it easier for them (“it’s not so bad”). It will only confuse them. Adults are helping children to define their feelings (words cause hurt, worry…). If they do not know how to show emotions, look for professional help. Pushed, trapped emotions can lead to more serious problems.
Communicate that message together and be ready for questions and submissions
This will make the child aware that you seriously understand the parental role, which will give them security. Try to separate your feelings from the explanations you give to your child – calmly and rationally explain to you that you are alienated, and that it’s a decision taken by an adult, and that for them will always be their mom and dad who love them and be there for them. This will calm down the terrible thought of physical separation. Carefully choose the time you will tell them. It’s best to be when they do not have a lot of commitment in the coming days, and when there will be room for a lot of questions, crying and confusion. Be always there for them to answer and listen to them.
As they grow up, new questions and ways of understanding things will arise. Provide them with information that is consistent with their age. What is not in accordance with one age is to talk about your affiliate, spoils, alcoholism, financial problems … It will only lead them to. Give children the answers that make sense, and leave your anger and grief for conversations with friends.
Be emotionally available
Do not neglect the child because of your emotional distress, they must know that you are there for him/ her. There are also cases where parents, involved in the construction of a new life, put their parental role in a different plan. Do not bring your child into a situation to fight for your attention, because it could turn into different risk behaviors! If you notice that you cannot devote to the child appropriately because of your depression, include your grandmother, girlfriend, aunt, uncle and other significant adults in your everyday life because the child must know that they are not alone.